Written by Roy Black

In the blue corner, we have a 62-year-old economist, head of the IMF, putative president of France.  I can’t tell his height and weight from the photos and TV, but he looks out of shape.  And in the red corner, we have the maid from Guinea, also height and weight unknown, but 32 and athletic-looking; after all she does hard manual labor every day, and appears in a picture to be in pretty good shape.

The so-called story: DSK tackles her and drags her into the bedroom. While this is not logical, it is physically possible. The rest however, is not.  He throws her on the bed, holds her down and thrusts his penis in her mouth, not once but twice.

Let’s stop for a minute and closely examine this story.  He would need both his hands to hold her on the bed and use his weight to position her on her back. She claims to be struggling, twisting and turning while being held down. If so, how does he get his erect penis in her mouth?

First the angle is all wrong.  As we know an erect penis is usually parallel to the man’s body and does not easily bend. So while straddling her on the bed, how does he get it into her mouth? Especially if she is twisting her head back and forth. Try this at home.

Second, how does he open her mouth? If this is not consensual, I assume she would not open her mouth voluntarily.  He has both hands engaged holding her arms down. If he lifts her head to position it to insert his penis, he would only have one hand to hold her on the bed. Possible? Maybe. But while holding her head with one hand and the other engaged keeping one arm on the bed, how does he open her mouth? And wouldn’t she hit him with her free arm? It is possible to vaginally rape her with both hands holding her arms and using his body to spread her legs and hold her on the bed, but orally? It is the claim of two oral assaults which make this story unbelievable.

Thus I assume that DSK must be an octopus since he needs more arms and hands than a human does.

I hope the defense team photographed each inch of his penis to see if there are any teeth marks. If in fact he is an octopus and managed to get his erect penis into her mouth while this athletic young lady is struggling, there must be teeth marks on it. If not this is just another fable.

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5 Comments to DSK the Octopus

  1. May 27, 2011 at 12:45 pm | Permalink

    Did you say the erect member is parallel to the body? Wouldn’t it be perpendicular? Maybe my imagination’s acting a little weird.

  2. Rick's Gravatar Rick
    May 28, 2011 at 12:52 pm | Permalink

    Now I wonder why she didn’t bite the penis? It seems that would work to get the penis out of her mouth? Will she say that her culture has taught her to be submissive? I hope this comes out in court… I want answers!!! Why didn’t she bite the penis?

  3. Biter Type's Gravatar Biter Type
    May 29, 2011 at 10:26 pm | Permalink

    The whole story is a nonsensical farce. They didn’t want this man to be the next President of France. I wonder if Sarkozy has anything to do with it. And now the one-world currency can take effect with a new IMF chief.

    Call him up, Roy, and see if he’ll let you represent him. You’ve already begun to filter out the details which will make the difference at his trial. You make some great points out how physically impossible this whole episode would be.

  4. Biter Type's Gravatar Biter Type
    May 29, 2011 at 10:28 pm | Permalink

    I meant to say “you make some great points ‘about’ how physically impossible this whole episode would be.

  5. May 30, 2011 at 8:42 pm | Permalink

    The problem is his priors. The jury will never, ever be able to overcome his prior actions. Also, being a Frenchman won’t help in New York, but I think he needs to call you pronto,

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